Shadows Of The Mind


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Facebook support group

Posted on January 26, 2011 at 1:41 PM Comments comments (0)

Since my first book was released last January I have been very busy with a support group that I started on Facebook. The group is for survivors of any kind of abuse and I was shocked at how quickly it grew to over 100 members. We have kept the group private for the safety of it's members and I have a wonderful team of officers and admins helping out.


It is very gratifying to be able to help others who are not as far along on their healing path. Most of what I do...

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Embracing Grief is Important

Posted on September 9, 2010 at 2:44 PM Comments comments (0)


With all the recent losses in my Facebook survivor groups, I thought it was a good time to talk about grieving, which so many are afraid of. The reality is that when we are able to give ourselves permission to grieve and be with sadness it gives us the opportunity to begin healing.


Change is inevitable and there is nothing we can do to stop it, every minute of every day. Sometimes it seems like we are losing everything when things chang...

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Self Harming

Posted on June 28, 2010 at 2:04 PM Comments comments (0)

In working with other survivors I have met some young women that are desperately trying to be heard through self harming. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to spend some time chatting with some of them and learn more about why they cut themselves. Rather than try to explain it here, you can get more information on this site.


One of the young woman that I met has become a very close friend an...

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Posted on June 14, 2010 at 1:59 PM Comments comments (0)

Wow, in mentoring other women that have been victims of abuse, I can't believe the number of young women that I come across that are actually attempting suicide. Sadly, some of them even succeed.


Even being aware if the statistics that say that 1 in 4 women is sexually abused, it boggles my mind that there are so many and I have to think that the statistics are actually much higher.


When I talk to these women that are feeling suicidal and they tell me the...

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List of effects for survivors

Posted on May 18, 2010 at 2:06 PM Comments comments (3)

Below is a list of effects that we suffer from as survivors of sexual abuse. Recognizing these effects in myself helped me to negate them on my road to healing. Although I didn't suffer from all of them, I wanted to include them all for others. These are very similar to the effects in adult children of alcoholic parents. I hope you find the list helpful.

Effects of Sexual Abuse

-afraid to remove clothes when appropriate (bathing, swimming, sleeping)


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Emotional Development Arrested

Posted on May 12, 2010 at 3:07 PM Comments comments (0)

One of the things I learned on my path of healing is that in many cases the child’s emotional development is arrested at the time of the abuse. Most of us do not develop emotionally past that age, which causes many issues for us as adults. I still find it very difficult sometimes to react appropriately to emotional situations, particularly involving sex and romantic love. I also struggle with having my own needs fulfilled. I was taught as a child that my needs didn’t matter, only ...

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Holding on to our pain

Posted on May 3, 2010 at 2:21 PM Comments comments (2)

Before I began healing from childhood abuse, I was always in emotional pain. I felt guilt and shame for what had happened to me and thought that somehow I had brought it on myself. As an adult many years later, I see how silly that sounds, but at the time I thought it was my fault that someone had abused me.


As I grew into adulthood I was involved in a number of abusive relationships, with men that only help to reinforce my thinking that it was my fault. I pushed thei...

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My friend Kate

Posted on March 2, 2010 at 12:50 PM Comments comments (3)

I have met the most wonderful people since my book was released. Recently I met this amazing woman online and I am very impressed with the work she is doing for her healing. Check out her poetry here


The more we talk about this subject and raise awareness, the more we can all heal together. Great work Kate, keep it up! You are definitely an inspiration to us all xoxoxoxo