|Posted on September 9, 2010 at 2:44 PM|
With all the recent losses in my Facebook survivor groups, I thought it was a good time to talk about grieving, which so many are afraid of. The reality is that when we are able to give ourselves permission to grieve and be with sadness it gives us the opportunity to begin healing.
Change is inevitable and there is nothing we can do to stop it, every minute of every day. Sometimes it seems like we are losing everything when things change. When we understand that this is all part of our daily living, and that there will not only be losses, but gains as well, we are more readily able to accept change and deal with whatever happens. To expect things to always stay the same is simply irrational.
When we lose something or somebody that we love, we need to take time for ourselves and truly feel what we are experiencing. At the time it may seem like it will push us deeper into sadness, by giving ourselves time to be with whatever has changed, it creates space for healing.
The act of grieving is a natural process, which allows us to go through all of the emotions are present in our every day life. Sometimes it seems easier to involve ourselves in things that take our minds off the sadness, but this will only make the healing longer and more difficult. It may be necessary for a short period of time until we are able to be alone in a safe environment however.
If we don't listen to where we are in the moment, the feelings only grow stronger and our feelings will manifest themselves in stronger, less comfortable ways, like self harming or self destructive behaviours. When we can consciously acknowledge these feelings, we are more able to soothe them. In doing so, we are more open to our natural healing ability.
Grieving isn't a process that keeps us in thoughts of fear and sadness. We may feel despondent at the time, but by expressing them and coping with the true feelings, we face the pain head on. When we can accept and deal with the loss fully, we can then continue our life's journey with a more positive and accepting outlook. This makes it easier to see that grief is temporary and just like moments of happiness, it will pass.
Just give it the time it deserves.